Posted 709 days ago by Anthony
Like that weird rash, we’re back! Despite some technical difficulties (please excuse the audio quality on this one), we finally managed to push out this steaming hot podcast. We won’t say which movie we covered, but this episode is truly an audio “assault” on the “precinct” of your ears. Enjoy!
Posted 808 days ago by Anthony
Boredom is a crime. Crime is a disease. Meet the cure.
Posted 838 days ago by Anthony
Time is a flat circle jerk, and so we bring you a blast from our past! Want to know what the Action Cast was up to at the end of this past summer? We were watching the only good Die Hard sequel, that’s what! BONUS: hang in there for most of an episode about Expendables 3 at the end, too!
Posted 896 days ago by Anthony
Joe is out this week so we compensate by talking about butts. Also: a movie that may or may not have been described as “butt”.
Posted 921 days ago by Anthony
Look man I missed this one and Alex edited the episode so I can’t even tell you what it’s about. Nobody tells me nothin’
Posted 953 days ago by Anthony
Our inadvertent summer break is over, so get ready for more Action Cast! To celebrate hanging out with our buddies, we cover the father of all buddy cop movies.
Posted 1013 days ago by Anthony
The rotted wood creaked beneath my feet as I ascended the stairs. Upon reaching the summit, an unusually damp air filled my lungs. My courage took flight, leaving me alone to contemplate the gruesome fate that await on the other side of that door. Steeling my nerves, I gripped the candelabra even tighter and forced myself to turn the knob. Swinging open, I gasped as my eyes fell upon The Action Cast, sensually making pottery with Marilyn Manson. “Join us,” they said, a wry smile spreading across their faces. “We made cherpumple.”
Posted 1050 days ago by Anthony
This week’s episode is short and to the point, the way movies with “The Raid” in the title should be! (Speaking of titles, this week’s is from after we stopped recording. Sorry!)
Posted 1067 days ago by Anthony
Still excited, even though Wrestlemania has come and gone? We’ve got just the thing to cure the desire to watch a wrestler do…well, anything.
Posted 1082 days ago by Anthony
The Action Cast comes out to plaaaaaaaaaaay. And, uh, also talk about The Warriors. Yeah.
Posted 1102 days ago by Anthony
Sly Stallone is a guy. Snipes can go twice as high. Take a look. It’s in a book. An Action Cast episode.
Posted 1124 days ago by Anthony
Action Cast Action Buddy Andy Keener joins us once again to talk about…Torque. Yep. Incidentally, all of our other special guests bailed on us as fast and furiously as possible.
Posted 1141 days ago by Anthony
We have an all out BATTLE ROYALE about this week’s movie. And by BATTLE ROYALE we mean a regular discussion. About Battle Royale. The movie.
Posted 1197 days ago by Anthony
“And when The Action Cast saw the breadth of their domain, they wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer.”
Posted 1217 days ago by Anthony
The Core Four assemble to talk about Eric’s birthday pick for this year. Well, three of them do, anyway. Anthony may or may not have watched the wrong movie.
Posted 1242 days ago by Anthony
Action Cast bros 4 life Bryce Wilson and Ethan Cheng return to help us celebrate the spookiest day of the year yet again. (No, not Flag Day.)
Posted 1246 days ago by Anthony
We’d like to take this moment to thank Triscuits™, this week’s sponsor, for making this very special episode of The Action Cast possible. Without Triscuits™‘s support, we would have never been able to bring in big talent like Paul Alvarez II™ to chat with us about awesome action movies like Punisher Warzone. Thanks, Triscuits™!
Posted 1248 days ago by Anthony
Eric, Kurt, Anthony, and Alex are joined by Anthony’s better half, Abby, and erstwhile contributor Andy Keener to discuss Breaking Bad in its entirety. This episode is chock full of spoilers for the entire show, so steer clear until you’ve watched it!
Posted 1268 days ago by Anthony
We continue our downward trend with even MORE time spent on 3 month old news and even LESS time on our movie of the week. But, we do our best to pour one out for the best hair in the business.
Posted 1299 days ago by Anthony
We pick the most cliched choice for a belated Ray Harryhausen send off instead of picking the one with the rad skeleton fight. Oh well. R.I.P., big guy.
Posted 1353 days ago by Anthony
Due to technical difficulties, we start even more, er, in media res than usual, but we nevertheless persevere to talk about True Lies.
Posted 1384 days ago by Anthony
After our longest hiatus yet (weddings will do that), we’re back! And it’s time to talk about Point Break!
Posted 1527 days ago by Anthony
We celebrate 60 episodes of us by entering the dragon.
Posted 1559 days ago by Anthony
Special (unexpected) guest Nick Rycar joins us as we celebrate Joe’s birthday by, uh, watching an awful movie. Getting old sucks, huh?
Unused potential titles for this episode include:
Star Wars of the 80s
Psalm 21: And lo, dudes are gross
I know dudes because I am one
This movie is a land boat
Fuckin’ Mr. Strickland
Posted 1580 days ago by Anthony
Alex’s birthday was September 6, and we watched The Highlander to celebrate. Yes, this is coming out more than 2 months later. There’s a joke about The Quickening to be made, I’m sure.
Posted 1620 days ago by Anthony
Go see Dredd (2012). Stay away from Judge Dredd (1995). Also, uh, stay even further away from Muse’s latest single, I guess?
Action Cast 50: Man is not the goddamn sexual tyrannosaurus we want, man is the goddamn sexual tyrannosaurus we deserve
Posted 1646 days ago by Anthony
After a bit of a hiatus, The Action Cast is back to celebrate our 50th episode, because some damn fool accused us of being the best. (Others wouldn’t wish us on a broke-dick dog.) Either way, stick around, because if it bleeds, we can podcast about it.
- Douchebag film student masturbation #1
- Douchebag film student masturbation #2
- sonnylandham.com welcome message
Posted 1666 days ago by Anthony
There’s a reason this was cut, but the guy editing this likes trains and Bill Murray too much to let it die.
Posted 1676 days ago by Anthony
This week, the crew grapples with the hobo code as we belatedly pour one out for Ernest Borgnine.
Posted 1692 days ago by Anthony
This is the internet, and you need someone else to tell you how to feel about things. There’s a new Batman movie out, but fear not, we’ve got you covered.
Posted 1701 days ago by Anthony
This is the podcast about Batmen you need, not the podcast about Batmen you deserve. (Sorry.)
Posted 1724 days ago by Anthony
The Earth has circled the Sun twice since we first cast some action, so we decided to take a break from our usual programming and ring in our Terrible Twos with something special.
Posted 1739 days ago by Anthony
What if the 1950s happened in the 1980s? What if leather fisherman pants were all the rage? What if Joe pretended to be Alex? What if it Bryce leveraged his birthday to choose Streets of Fire as this week’s movie, in our best episode about rock ‘n’ roll fables ever?
Posted 1749 days ago by Anthony
We surgically removed the news section from our Aliens cast, but it refused to die, and now it’s loose in the vents. Fire up your flamethrower and get ready for an Action Cast Action Movie Action Break!
Posted 1757 days ago by Anthony
We’re excited about Prometheus’ imminent release, so to celebrate, we had the completely original idea of covering all of the Alien(s) movies. Yes, ALL of them, even the bad one(s).
Join us in our longest episode yet as we discuss xenomorphs, the space jockey, Bill Paxton, horror movies, rape goggles, robots, Bill Paxton, positive arsenic, douchebag college essays, the raddest movie ever, Bill Paxton, homosexual subtext by omission, tortured development history, Bill Paxton, toys, Firefly DNA, bad fanfiction, and the worst birthday ever.
Note: due to the length of the podcast, we surgically removed the opening news segment (mostly without killing the hosts). If the opening seems a bit disjointed, that’s why!
And hey, here’s a breakdown of when we talk about what:
0:00:00 – General comments / Prometheus (no spoilers, since we haven’t seen it!)
0:16:25 – Alien
1:00:18 – Aliens
1:39:55 – Alien 3
2:19:51 – Alien: Resurrection
Posted 1766 days ago by Anthony
I know, I know, a post that isn’t a new episode. I’m scared, too, but we can get through this. Just breathe.
To refresh your memory: on our last episode, Joe talked about how he viewed Sudden Death as the point that marked the waning of Jean-Claude’s illustrious career. We joked that the best way to see this trend would be to graph the amount of money each JCVD film made.
Long story short, at the risk of taking a joke too far, I whipped up a quick chart to see if this really was the case. BEHOLD:
A few points of clarification on this. First, I drew the revenue data from Wikipedia, which in turn drew mostly from Box Office Mojo. If you’ve got a quibble with the numbers used, bring it up with them. Second, due to the lack of data on certain titles, I decided to stick with domestic, rather than worldwide revenue. I plotted what I had of worldwide data and the trend was exactly the same, though, so in the end it probably wouldn’t have mattered. Lastly, I plotted each movie’s budget on the same graph, but the trend was nearly identical and just cluttered things up, so I removed that and added some disembodied JCVD heads instead. I think I made the right call.
So what did we find? Against all odds, Joe was pretty much right on the money this time. After a steady climb that peaks at Timecop (of all movies) in 1994, Van Damme’s gross revenue per movie begins to plummet, with Sudden Death making less than half of what Timecop did only a year later. (Yes, Street Fighter also came out after Timecop and made less, but it was still one of JCVD’s biggest earners and was pretty heavily promoted. I’d personally classify it as his last big film, rather than the beginning of the end.) Of course, Sudden Death still made about $20 million, so it’s only a relative failure. I’d gladly accept $20 million. (This Action Cast gig doesn’t exactly put food on the table, you know.)
I should specifically mention JCVD (the film, not the guy.) That movie’s box office revenue in the U.S. was only $470,691 – but it had an extremely limited theatrical showing in the U.S. It’s probably not fair to compare it to the others, then, but I think it gives it some artsy cred by doing so.
There are also a few omissions, of course. Universal Soldier: The Return was Jean-Claude’s last film in theatres, but he released several direct-to-video movies after, which obviously weren’t included here. In fact, one of the biggest holes in the data are the home video sales, as this is just box office numbers. (I’d bet good money that Bloodsport and Kickboxer made significantly more money than some of these other films on the home market, for example, and speaking from personal experience, seeing those in syndication contributed more to my appreciation of Van Damme than anything else did.) Still, the idea was to use this as a proxy for fame, and I think it works pretty well in that regard. Shockingly well, even, given how volatile audiences can be.
So there you have it. One man’s life work, reduced to a single line graph. I’m actually a little surprised the the majority of his career took place within a single decade. It felt a lot longer than that. Show business is rough, I suppose. Maybe next time I’ll try to find a way to graph the ability to do the splits, to make him feel better.
Posted 1777 days ago by Anthony
We take on JCVD’s Die Hard in a hockey stadium, Sudden Death, in honor of the Stanley Cup finals.
Posted 1831 days ago by Anthony
This week, our heroes valiantly battle maidens and bed wizards to bring you the greatest treasure of them all: a chronicle chronicling the chronicle that is Conan the Barbarian! (And, uh, the Destroyer, too.)
Posted 1852 days ago by Anthony
Special guest Scott Lowe joins us once again to discuss dirt bikes, Game Gear, and who is and is not garbage.
Posted 1865 days ago by Anthony
Our schedule went a little Haywire (pause for laughter), so we bring you a double dose of Action Cast goodness: a 70’s, er, classic, and a brand spanking new movie hot off the presses. The…movie presses. Yeah.
Posted 1932 days ago by Anthony
We’re altogether wooed by Hard Boiled. Do you see what I did there? On the Stick’s Kurt Adam and Things That Don’t Suck’s Bryce Wilson once again join us.
Posted 1939 days ago by Anthony
Sonny Chiba’s The Street Fighter is on the chopping block this week, in what’s easily our least-shabby podcast to date.
Posted 1997 days ago by Anthony
In this week’s episode, Alex makes love to The Last Dragon aurally. The rest of us chime in occasionally.
Posted 2044 days ago by Anthony
Like Arnold Schwarzenegger’s schlong, we go all out this week to cover one of the biggest movies in the genre: The Terminator.
Posted 2074 days ago by Anthony
There can only be one, and that one is The One. Too bad it’s a steaming pile.
Posted 2084 days ago by Anthony
Friend of the podcast Bryce Wilson joins us to hunt for nuggets of gold amongst the steaming piles that are video games based on action movies.
(And again, be sure to check out Bryce’s blog, Things That Don’t Suck .) (But of course, you’re already a subscriber because we told you to last time he was on, right? Well then, check out his excellent Son of Danse Macabre as well!)
Posted 2095 days ago by Anthony
Behind every stone, on top of every tree, there is a ninja. We can’t save you, but we can podcast to make you feel better.
Posted 2124 days ago by Anthony
Hang out as we discuss Cliffhanger in our most majestic podcast yet.
Posted 2138 days ago by Anthony
In the post apocalypse, you’ll only need three things: assless chaps, a copy of the Road Warrior, and this podcast.
Posted 2151 days ago by Anthony
Occasionally, we manage to crank out a pretty good podcast. This is not one of those times.
Posted 2153 days ago by Anthony
A very special birthday episode just for Anthony.
Posted 2161 days ago by Anthony
When watching 1980’s The Exterminator, you have to laugh to stay alive…On this podcast, it’s often the same.
Posted 2170 days ago by Anthony
Like Liam Neeson, not even technical difficulties can stop us. Prepare for pure aural throat chopping with one of our baddest episodes yet as we discuss a movie near and dear to our hearts: Taken.
- Taken – Liam Neeson’s Greatest Hits
- Don’t Worry About the Government podcast
- And because we discussed it: the Jason Statham look-alike:
Posted 2188 days ago by Anthony
As part of OntheStick.com’s Wrestlemania Week extravaganza, the Action Cast crew – plus friend of the podcast Ethan – talk about two wrestling classics: The Scorpion King, and No Holds Barred.
Posted 2210 days ago by Anthony
Five dudes, five elements. Can we make it any simpler? Though really, Alex’s love for The Fifth Element alone is more than five ordinary men, so that’s, like, 9, probably. Man, math sucks.
Posted 2223 days ago by Anthony
As we discuss the Chinese epic Ip Man, The Yam Cast would like to remind you that we love all of Mother Earth’s peoples and any off-color remarks are for dramatic effect only.
Posted 2228 days ago by Anthony
You should listen to this while watching the January 27th post on todaysbigthing.com. You won’t regret it!
Posted 2234 days ago by Anthony
This week, we tackle The Mechanic – both the 1972 original AND the 2011 remake. We barely scratch the surface of Anthony’s man-crush on Jason Statham, and eventually a real discussion emerges.
Also, check out this kickass mural Joe talks about:
(Special thanks to The Fleshies for the use of their song, “Sexiest Man Alive”. Not that they’ll ever hear this episode or read this, but hey, thanks anyway!)
Posted 2242 days ago by Anthony
The exciting conclusion to last week’s episode, wherein Simon/Andy/whatever promises to see The Thing the very next day.
Two weeks later, and he still hasn’t.
Posted 2248 days ago by Anthony
Kurt Adam from our sister podcast and friend of the podcast Bryce Wilson join us to talk about how the biggest trouble can be found in even the littlest China.
(Oh, and be sure to check out Bryce’s blog, Things That Don’t Suck . If you thought he put us to shame on this podcast, wait until you see his writing.)
Posted 2251 days ago by Anthony
Only two words can describe this: I’m sorry.
Posted 2269 days ago by Anthony
A smaller than usual cast talks Passenger 57, in honor of Wesley Snipes beginning his jail term.
Posted 2285 days ago by Anthony
There aren’t any good Hanukkah action movies, so we shoot the shit about the best Christmas one: Die Hard. Also present: technical difficulties, John Cena, more deep voices, and the hired help. Yippee ki-yay, motherfuckers.
- John Cena vs. Cookie Monster
- Deluxe Monocle
- IMDB negative Die Hard reviews
- John Cena
- IMPROVED John Cena
- Penny Arcade about Die Hard 4
- Karl Urban as Judge Dredd
Posted 2293 days ago by Anthony
Special guest Ethan joins us to talk about some robot cops. There’s also the usual digressions about wrestling, and at 22:26 Andy makes a wonderful pun that nobody noticed while we were recording. Turns out that guy isn’t so bad after all.
- Keetje Tippel trailer
- RoboCop the cartoon
- Crank action figure
- Mr. Dream’s RoboCop
- RoboCop the musical
Posted 2319 days ago by Anthony
After a bit of a hiatus, we’re back to talk about one of the best movies about a secret underground international fighting tournament. We can also do the splits.
Posted 2366 days ago by Anthony
Random asides tied together by Predator music. Sounds…a lot like most other episodes, actually.
Posted 2375 days ago by Anthony
To make up for last week, we present a slightly extended episode celebrating Michael Dudikoff’s magnum opus, American Ninja. We highly recommend you watch the movie alongside the podcast, MST3k-style. Also included: our first celebrity phone call!
Posted 2382 days ago by Anthony
So…we kind of had a massive error and, well…sorry to say it, but most of Action Cast 3 was deleted forever. We salvaged SOME of it, though, and 18 minutes of a Total Recall cast is probably better than 60 minutes about most other movies. Don’t worry, we’ll probably get our asses to Mars again some day.
And since you, dear reader, were deprived of some Total Recall goodness, I’ll link to two images that are rad and everyone should see: Total Recall Santa and this sweet fan movie poster for the movie.
Posted 2389 days ago by Anthony
Hey, just because this is an every-other-week(ish) podcast doesn’t mean we can’t give you a small sampling in between episodes. Besides, we can call them b-sides and sound like douchebags, which makes us cooler than you.
Anyway, this one is about girls in action movies. Mostly.
Posted 2397 days ago by Anthony
Same as below – this is going up so all of our ‘casts are in one place. Witness the birth of the b-sides! Gasp as you listen to just how lame a podcast can be! Breathe a sigh of relief when you realize it’s only 7 minutes long!
Posted 2397 days ago by Anthony
A quick bit of house cleaning here – putting this up so ALL of our episodes show up in our current feed (i.e. “Action Cast and Action Cast 1b were under the Cast at Demonhead / On the Stick name”). You know, for posterity’s sake.
Uh, if you somehow found us after we moved here, then please enjoy our humble beginnings!
Posted 2397 days ago by Anthony
Per the Admin’s request:
Posted 2602 days ago by Anthony
So hey, giving each ‘cast a dumb name is funny and all, but here’s a list of the movies we’ve covered just in case:
- The Action Draft
- Air Force One
- The Alien Series
- American Ninja
- Bare Knuckles
- The Basket Case Trilogy
- The Batman Series
- Battle Royale
- Big Trouble in Little China
- Blackbelt Jones
- The Burning
- Clan of the White Lotus
- Clash of the Titans
- Conan the Barbarian/Conan the Destroyer
- Crank/Crank 2: High Voltage
- Death Wish 3
- Die Hard
- Die Hard 2: Die Harder
- Dirty Harry
- Django Unchained
- Enter the Dragon
- Escape from New York/Escape from L.A.
- The Expendables
- Expendables 2
- The Exterminator
- The Fifth Element
- Fist of Legend
- Gunblast Vodka
- Guyver 2: Dark Hero
- Hard Boiled
- Hard to Kill
- High Plains Drifter
- Hobo with a Shotgun
- Hot Fuzz
- Ip Man
- Jingle All the Way
- Judge Dredd
- King Boxer
- The Last Dragon
- The Last Stand
- Lethal Weapon
- Mad Max
- Man on Fire
- Masters of the Universe
- The Mechanic
- No Holds Barred
- The One
- Out for Justice
- Passenger 57
- Point Break
- Punisher: War Zone
- The Raid: Redemption
- The Rambo Series
- Revenge of the Ninja
- The Road Warrior
- Rumble in the Bronx
- The Running Man
- Santa with Muscles
- The Scorpion King
- Southern Comfort
- Starship Troopers
- The Street Fighter
- Streets of Fire
- The Stuff
- Sudden Death
- Super Mario Bros.
- The Terminator
- Thankskilling 3
- They Live
- Total Recall
- Total Recall 2012
- True Lies
- 12 Monkeys
- Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning
- Videogames Based on Action Movies
And if you’re in the mood for something REALLY dumb, here are the b-sides we’ve done, too:
- 49b: Lost in Trainslation
- 43b: The Riddle of Steamy Butthole Antics
- 32b: Eric is Joe’s Ultimate Warrior
- 11b: A Dude Made of Dudes
- 10b: This Was Recorded 2 Weeks ago and He Still Hasn’t Seen It
- 9b: Bitches Run Wild On You
- Action Cast Throws Down!
- 4b: If it bleeds, we can kill it
- 2b: Girl-On-Girl Action
- 1b: Sadcast