Steven “Stiv” Tramer stops by one last time for a high dose of 1990s anti-nostalgia.
Do you “remember the nineties?” Quick, here’s a flashback summary of what we think of as “the ninenties,” which I think could be defined as “From when Nevermind was released” to “When everyone started buying Beanie Babies on eBay.” Think about it, you know I’m right. Anyway: Pogs. Hacky sack. Grunge. Flannel shirts. Ross Perot. Videogames where you can kind of almost wish you could see Dana Plato’s nipples while she dances around and lip-syncs. Videogames where a dude punches another dude so hard that he explodes. Videogames where Hulk Hogan tells you how to fly a hovercraft or something while you shoot video-captured toy missiles. Nobody cared about The Hulkster being in a video game, but there was a frenzy of worry that guys in black leotards grabbing Dana Plato and pulling her through a doorway would turn children into sex-crazed murderers, who had lots of practice pressing the ‘A’ button to punch a dude in the heart so hard he died. This was the most dangerous threat to our nation, after the extreme cusses of 2 Live Crew and Milli Vanilli turning out to be a fraud. Into this world comes Harvester, a “video game” which is basically all about having the grossest, most violent, poorly-digitized blood effects coming out of everything 100% of the time. Also it’s horrible.